When I have a terrible need of - shall I say the word - religion. Then I go out and paint the stars.
I dream of painting and then I paint my dream.
I have put my mind and soul into my work and have lost my mind in the process.
Just these three lines gives us a tantalizing glimpse into Van Gogh the man as opposed to Van Gogh the legend. Remember, Van Gogh was a failed lay preacher. His order kicked him out from his assigned area of the Borinage, an impoverished mining town in Belgium. Why did they kick hi out? Because he acted like one of the locals instead of being better than the locals. There was a more official explanation, but that's basically what his superiors meant. Getting kicked out by his order must've been like getting kicked to the curb by God.
So, God was not to be any source of faith for Van Gogh. According to these quotes, he turned to dreams, the stars and his art. The stars appear in several of Van Gogh's most memorable works, including:
- Cafe Terrace at Night (September 1888)
- Starry Night Over the Rhone (September 1888)
- The Starry Night (June 1889)
- The White House At Night (June 1890)
- Road with Cypress and Star (May 1890)
There is also a theory that Van Gogh shot himself because Van Gogh believed he couldn't pain anything better. He could not live without being caught in the intoxicating vice-grip of creative flow and decided to call it a life.
Although Van Gogh must have been next to impossible to live with, when I read these quotes, I can't help but sympathise. How many of us willingly toil on and on at something we love, even though we can't afford to?
Image of a letter Vincent sent to Theo of his bedroom in Arles, 17 October, 1888
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